greetings from flavor country! after a six-hour flight sandwiched between two screaming babies and a night in a generic phoenix hotel room that was nicer than our apartment in almost every way, we've settled in for some long form loafing at joe's parents' place. this image is one of the reasons i will not be driving while we're out here; i have no interest in being the second asshole in an SUV to be swept downstream this season (it's only a few feet deep right now, but my fording experience begins and ends with the oregon trail for the apple IIe). there's little reason for anyone to drive, really - we've already taken our traditional tour of payson's Thrift Stores of the Damned and wal-mart (where i got the hairy eyeball for honking the hoochie mama elk call and learned that "wal-mart deleted [?] darts").* instead there will be reading (i'm halfway through philip roth's american pastoral), tipsy scrabbling, and NO smoking (three weeks, bitches!). quality time in the middle of nowhere, she has a certain charm - though it would be nice to find some darts. how's the seasonal nonsense in your neck of the woods?
*i wasn't particularly excited about giving wal-mart money anyway, so that was fine.
Screaming-baby-on-plane blows. This is a given, but I condole you on that front anyway. (You want to tell the kid "just chew some gum--that will make the pain in your ears go away." But, of course, pulverized peas is an adventure with that crowd.)
ReplyDeleteNo soda = two weeks. Lost weight? Not that much -- the fluid intake thing is about the same. Discouraging, of course. But I feel... betterish?
Odd fact: an 8-inch sub and a 20oz bottle of water (no chips, lots of veggies) = 2lbs of total weight. (I was bored at the laundromat and did one of those 25-cent get-your-weight-and-lotto-numbers before and after. And now you know.) That ain't a rice cake and a damp sponge, but that's two pounds' worth of material? Huh.
things i have learned this holiday season that may or may not be geographically specific to los angeles:
ReplyDelete1. people are dicks.
2. people in cars are even bigger dicks and apparently pedestrians have no right to exist.
3. kids are far more pleasant to be around during the holidays than adults.
4. online shopping is fanfuckingtastic.
5. the usps sucks in every way possible.
any thoughts?
@lauren:
ReplyDeleteseasonal nonsense in my neck of the woods is sleepy and tired of airports. snow/ice storms in maine do not fuck around. i was a day late getting home from there because of that damned storm. also, hooray for your continued non-smoking!
@babyjo:
1. no doubt
2. i give you anyone from massachussetts driving in nyc as further proof of that
3. meh
4. agreed
5. holy crap yes i may not get one of my mom's presents thanks very much postal service. this is why private delivery companies are driving you out of business.
@tom: hey, that's great about the soda! you're doing better than i am with the weight thing: can't remember if i mentioned this yet or not, but i've gained four pounds since beginning my gym routine. i know i haven't been eating more - in fact, i think i've been eating and drinking less - and i don't feel more muscular, so i'm mystified. and kind of angry.
ReplyDelete@jo:
1) totally
2) i give you phoenix drivers as further further proof of that. joe and i, as pedestrians, were such a novelty that people refused to accept that we existed. i was nearly a gnat on the hood of a range rover like six times.
3) tough call. adults are worse now, but you know i hate kids all the time. then again, i hate most people all the time. i can't be of help here.
4) ayup.
5) it shares a spot in hell with the mail guys at my office. i sympathize with them a lot of the time, but they have been heroically incompetent this month.
@george: i'm glad we got out of NYC when we did. it seems like east coast air travel went pear-shaped thursday and has stayed that way. i also remain pleased that i'll be taking the day off after our overnight flight back on wednesday.
joe has been reading an old bodybuilding book of his parents' - "keys to the inner universe." it includes practical advice for the steroid hobbyist. i'll try to snap a pic of the cover, which features a dude in fur shorts.
you're doing better than i am with the weight thing
ReplyDeleteThanks. Of course--and this is a total guess, dear--but that day when you totally pigged out at your third birthday party--with chocolate cake flying all over the place? That would have been the last day where I might have had you beat on the whole weight front. Since then, you've been much more fit than I ever was. I've have got a ways to go here.
(Image of you throwing chocolate cake around house totally imagined and probably completely untrue, of course.)