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11.17.11: joe's dream, II

"I'm in a hotel room in Arizona waiting for my estranged dad, Elvis Presley, whom I have never met. He shows up, and it's old Elvis - just ancient, really wrinkled. He and I have about ten minutes of conversation, which is strained. Now we're outside, in Cave Creek, where I grew up, and Elvis gets into his battered old car, which crashes and starts rolling down the street, rolling and rolling - and I try to call someone, the police, but no one has a phone, so I run into my elementary school and find my BlackBerry, and I use the phone on that.

Now I'm on a high desert plain, with the human equivalent of Chief Wiggum from The Simpsons, and Elvis is there, completely naked and encased in a giant plastic bag. It's sealed and he's struggling to breathe, so Wiggum makes a slit [gestures horizontally across his face] for him. 'Alright,' he says, 'now you get out of here and never come back.' Elvis turns and begins to shuffle away, the bag crinkling around him, and Wiggum stops him. 'One more thing,' he says. 'Hand over the bananas.' Elvis hands him three giant bags of frozen bananas, and that's the end of my dream."

2: were they whole, or cut up?

1: whole, and in these three clear plastic sacks that he's carrying over his shoulder like a hobo.

2: or santa.

1: or santa.